The school crest on the shirt that I adorn makes me feel accomplished,
but at the same time,
skeptical about the choice I made.
It is not St. Andrew's.
It's the two words after that; Junior College.
I'm here,
I'm here,
like many many others in my cohort in Singapore,
who are still skeptics or once skeptics like me right now.
I can also almost hear people probably who cant wait to get to my ear and scream at me for wasting one DSA space/not treasuring my place in SAJC/etc.
I'm sorry, but hear read me out.
I DO treasure my being in SAJC.
I really, honestly, whole-heartedly do.
BUT.
Hearts are hearts.
You know how they get to you.
Plus the gut feeling.
My heart and gut feeling are standing at the base of the forked road,
looking at TP's Tourism Academy while I am adorning the SAJC shirt and am confirmed in SAJC with DSA.
I am fully aware that I have had prayed many times for this.
I am fully aware that I have had prayed many times for this.
My dream (or at least, last year) picture was me in the SAJC uniform,
standing at a bowling alley.
So that's two dreams in one; being a student in SAJC itself and bowling for her.
Now somehow my dreams have shifted to longer-term;
now that I'm here in SAJC,
why am I here for?
Ultimately it's for my future career.
To get into SMU and go STB or something to do with Tourism.
(I finally know what I want to do with my career in my future!)
BUT.
The Tourism Academy in Sentosa seriously looks damn interesting la.
It's my dream (another one, yes, but you're technically excused from impossible-to-achieve-dreams sometimes as people do daydream dont they?) to work in Sentosa's tourism department and live in Sentosa Cove.
HAHA.
YES.
A DREAM.
BUT.
1) I cant see myself as a polytechnic student.
2) I'm emotionally-attached to SA already.
3) I cant get out of DSA easily at this point.
4) Hell, I'm not even in JAE.
Am not exactly all great and happy in bowling either, truth to be told.
Am struggling in some ways over my bowling release; learning the new technique and not exactly progressing well,
hoping that Uncle Henry doesnt think that it is I who wouldnt want to change but when I actually, desperately do.
Plus getting used to my guard-less hand and bowling in a crap alley.
(I'm sorry for being crude but it's just me. I just cant feel motivated on the lanes and overall atmosphere. But I am trying my best to change that negative mindful attitude towards it because I know I must adapt, etc.)
Very puzzled still.
Very puzzled still.
Everytime I come to school I feel not quite right (yet?).
All because of my uncertainties.
Plus my subject combination.
I feel like changing it; going on to the Science Faculty.
One main reasons why is because I cant stand the teachers looking down on Arts students.
What the hell is there to look down on us for?
The subject combinations in SAJC for Arts and Sciences are quite chapalang.
Plus the fact that Arts students are actually GOOD in what they do plus they are PASSIONATE for the Arts subjects (one good example would be Kenneth Loe) therefore they're in that particular faculty so what is there to look down on us for, seriously?
Especially in Math class.
Gosh.
Lecturer, "Who did A Math, put up their hands."
Lecturer, "Who did A Math, put up their hands."
99% of us put up our hands.
Lecturer (seemingly shocked), "Whoa, so many ah? I thought you all are from Arts."
Everyone in unison, "SO?!?!" (Me, you want a knock in the head?! It's almost an insult to me la. My 2 years of struggling with A Math and actually achieving a very decent distinction after a year and a half of F9s thrown in my face and you're looking down on our abilities?)
1) We're actually JC students for heaven's sake, and we are told that we must do A Math to go JC why the heck wouldnt we do A Math?
1) We're actually JC students for heaven's sake, and we are told that we must do A Math to go JC why the heck wouldnt we do A Math?
2) What makes us lesser in our capability in Math than the Science students anyway? Science and Math are not twin sisters.
3) It's our bloody choice to be in Arts faculty; the beauty of it all is that there are 7 pointers in here. Take that!
Feel like taking H2 Chemistry but I feel like I'd be signing for a future massacre during A Levels because I only got a B3 for it during O Levels and I'm not the memorise-and-apply-with-lots-and-lots-of-thinking type of student.
Plus the fact that when I was studying in Starbucks during the O Levels/A Levels period the A Levels students were complaining about how difficult the paper was.
I will probably screw it up huh.
I only grasp concrete concepts like Math.
The debate goes on.
Okay.
Okay.
I'd be most probably be sticking to SAJC because it'd be too much of a hassle to go MOE to da-da-da on my DSA/
tell my parents/
worry over all my money spent on 138593759 numbers of SAJC attire I have in my closet/
etc..
I should be glad I was given the opportunity so I'll take it without question and I'll explore my options more through my course in JC.
Will contemplate about my subject combination again and pray and put my soul into bowling.
Yep.
I'm still proud to be a saint, definitely.
I'm still proud to be a saint, definitely.
(:
Once again,
Once again,
It's Junior College, not St. Andrew's.
Hell, I love SA.
The bridge,
the people,
the facilities,
the tau huay shop,
the McDonald's,
the kopitiam,
the Potong Pasir MRT station,
the fast and efficient 966,
etc etc.
EDIT: I love the fruit stall too.
(How could I forget?!
*smacks forehead*)
The wonderful concoctions there is
(:
The Strawberry-Banana,
Strawberry-Oreo Milkshake (Mimi's invention),
and more peculiar but great-tasting mixtures to come.
Haha.
Oh.
Dont be too kei-kiang (adventurous in the negative way) sometimes.
Banana-Oreo Milkshake tasted bad.
Yep.
You read it here first!
(: